Wife:Where are you?

Wife (on the phone): Where the hell are you, jerk? 

Husband: Darling, you remember that jewellery shop where you saw that necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time and I told you, "Baby, it'll be yours one day!" 

Wife: Suddenly in a soft polite voice "Yeah, yeah, I remember, my love!" 

Husband: I am at the bar just next to that shop! 

Wife: Go to hell, you jerk!

New drugs 4 MEN created by WOMEN

New drugs 4 MEN created by WOMEN Scientists beware! ANIVERSIA :- Triggers memories of birthdays and anniversaries. SLIMOXIL :- Widens male cornea making wives appear slim. SPORTOBLIND X :- Reacts with optic nerve to prevent men from recognizing the word "sports" on TV. WORKOCETAMOL :- Generates an insatiable desire in men to do household chores. SHOPHOFOBEX :- Makes men eager to take wives for shopping every week and wait patiently. FLIRTONATE-N :- It makes a black covering in the eyes when a girl is passing by :)

Economist in bed

Economist in bed? 

When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities - she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed. 

After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order - she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.

A Economist opened the door of his BMW

A Economist opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car camealong and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When thepolice arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterlyabout the damage to his precious BMW. 

"Officer, look what they'vedone to my Beeeeemer!" he whined."You Economist's are so materialistic, you make me sick!" retortedthe officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that youdidn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!""Oh my God," replied the Economist, finally noticing the bloodyleft shoulder where his arm once was. "Where's my Rolex?!?"

An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect

An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were were arguing about what was God's real profession. The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live." "Ridiculous!" said the biologist "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly he was a biologist." 

"Wrong," said the architect. "Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!" "Well," said the economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"

Couple to Love, Honor and Obey

To Love, Honor n Obey

A Young Couple Were Having Their First Fight
And this Was A Big One

After A While,
The Husband Said:

"When We Got Married,
You Promised To Love, Honor and Obey"

His Bride Replied:

"I Know But I Didn't Want
To Start An Argument In Front
Of All Those People at theWedding"